For release at 0900 hrs January 3, 2010: Transport Canada in conjunction with the Department of Homeland Security of the US have cleared up the recent confusion about ‘carry on bags or not’ and the ‘pat down procedures’ on US bound flights by waiving all prior advisories about pat downs and carry on bags and clearly stating the new policy.
Effective January 4, 2010 at 0900 hrs, all passengers boarding all flights intending to land in the US must strip completely naked prior to check-in and both their carry on bags and clothes will be placed in a basket that customers can reclaim at their final designation.
This procedure will result in increased security and comfort for all passengers and will result in more on time departures. As most terrorists are Muslim men and their religion forbids them from seeing naked women, it further hoped that terrorists will avoid flights abiding by the new flight safety rules.
These new rules have been tested thoroughly in an open environment and most passengers seemed to both enjoy the new rules and easily conform. (today's photo of Pearson Airport @ 3:50 PM attached for news wire use).
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