In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Myer hairdryer:
'Do not use while sleeping'.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
'Directions: Use like regular soap'.
(And that would be how???)
On some frozen dinners:
'Serving suggestion: Defrost'.
(But, it's just a suggestion).
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert
(printed on bottom):
'Do not turn upside down'.
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
'Product will be hot after heating'.
(And you thought????...)
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
'Do not iron clothes on body'.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication'.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
'Warning: May cause drowsiness'.
(And...I'm taking this because???)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
'For indoor or outdoor use only'.
(As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
'Not to be used for the other use'.
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Nobby's peanuts:
'Warning: contains nuts'.
(Talk about a news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts'.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:
On a child's superman costume:
'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly'.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals'.
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Ouch…
