Marriage

Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing...?  You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'  
-------------------------------

Wife: 'You always carry my photo in your wallet.. Why?'
Hubby: 'When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.'  
Wife: 'You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?'
Hubby: 'Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?'  
--------------------------------------------------------

Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'  
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'  
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'
----------------------! -------- 

Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'  
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'  
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
________________________________

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'
-------------------------------

A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'