There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls
We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: 'You're next, Chubby.'
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.
Medically, speaking there is No difference in the outcome.
Both result in death.
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker. Billy Connolly
"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
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Annual Medical Exam
I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started with certain basics.
"How much do you weigh?" she asked.
"60 kilos," I said.
The nurse put me on the scale.
It turns out my weight is 87.
The nurse asked, "Your height?"
"168cm," I said.
The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 158.
She then took my blood pressure and told me that it is very high.
"Of course it's high!" I screamed, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"
She put me on Prozac.
What a b * tch!
Lottery Winnings
Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a lorry went by loaded up with rolls of turf.
Paddy said, 'I gonna do that when I win lottery'
'What's dat, says his mate.
'Send me lawn away to be cut'.
