A woman … finds a genie lamp …

A woman walking along the beach finds a genie lamp.

She rubs it and a genie appears.
She says great, can I get three wishes.

The genie says no because of downsizing and the global financial crisis, you only get one.

So she has a think, pulls out a map of the Middle East and says I want to stop these countries fighting.

The genie says that's impossible, these countries have been at it for years.

Netanyahu won't compromise, Hamas is in conflict with the Palestinian Authority, Iran is building nuclear weapons and the whole region is full of dysfunctional governments and crazy militants.

I have been in a bottle for thousands of years, I'm out of shape and I'm not that good.

Do you have another wish?

She says ok I want to find a man who loves me for what I am, who is faithful, fun to be with, helps with the house cleaning, does the cooking, gets on with my family and doesn't watch sport on TV all the time.

How about that?

The genie sighs:

Give us a look at that map again.

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