Irish Vasectomy

A very unfortunate attack on some minorities. Don’t read past here if you …

After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children ...

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive.

A less costly alternative was to go home, get a large firecracker, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The husband said to the doctor, "B'Jayzus, I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me with my problem."

"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count:

"1, 2, 3, 4, ?5,"

at which point he paused, and placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in New Zealand and in parts of Tasmania

the emperor’s Clothes BOUTIQUE

Kabul gender roles

An American Journalist did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.

She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. Despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem happy to maintain the old custom.

She approached one of the Afghani women and asked,

'Why do you now seem happy with an old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?'

The woman looked her straight in the eyes, and without hesitation
said,

'Land mines'

Do not talk to my parrot!

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called in a repairman.

Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman:

“I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a cheque.'

“Oh, by the way don't worry about my dog Spike. He won't bother you.

“But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!”

“I MUST STRESS TO YOU: DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!”

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest,meanest looking dog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled:

“Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!”

To which the parrot replied:

“Get him Spike!”